Later, Same Tuesday

Drove mum to hospital. She's already getting on my nerves with her relentless negativity. Her glass is forever half empty, and she won't stop rabbiting. I try to be patient with her, to consider the fragile state of her mind, let alone the current situation. But it ain't easy...
In the hospital Adi, who's been keeping a watch since about 15:00 tries to shield mum from some more bad news. I don't see the point of this. Dad's cancer has apparently nothing to do with the kidneys, the lymphatic glands, or as they suspected after the first two possibilities were eliminated, the bladder. It's a "rare form of cancer". I am deeply suspicious of this term. To me it spells "we fucked up the lab tests". According to Adi an oncologist who was called to check dad's results told her it's inoperable, and chemotherapy would kill him within 48 hours. Now they are keen to get dad out ASAP regardless of his state. I will have to see the doctors tomorrow, also to talk to the residence people to coordinate the ambulance that will ferry him home.
Mum and I are left by dad's bed and Adi goes home. We struggle to feed him: I hold his head up straight and mum, with her 83 year old tiny frame leans forward and presents spoon after spoon of food supplement drink. He tries to help, I can feel he does. Later we just sit there. He can barely utter something neither of us understand, but I hold his hand and he "talks" to me by squeezing my hand from time to time. Mum is aware of the situation but only after we are asked to leave she tells me she has no wish to go on living after dad's gone. On the way home I am an extra sensitive, but frank with her. At Lea's place Adi is a bit irked with me when I accidentally blurt out the brutal facts (as I talk to Lea on the phone to NY: Lea asks me whether she should bring her flight back from NYC forward. I tell her, not for the first time that I can't really make a decision for her. I don't know whether dad has days or weeks left) and Dor who's 16 and already troop leader in the Scouts, hears the news Adi wanted to shield him from. Before taking mum home to her flat in the residence I hug Dor and tell him: "I seem to shock you every time I open my mouth". A couple of years ago I blurted out "yes" to his demand: "what, you're gay or something?"